i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize