My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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