why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
