You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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