if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
