is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
