you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
