i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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