Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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