Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
