White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
