Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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