So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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