So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize