You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Never joke about your clitoris.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
