The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
