please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
