Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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