I am in a vortex of obligation.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
