My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
