Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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