oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
