I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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