I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
