You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
