2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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