Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
