I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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