You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize