The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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