Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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