At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
