you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
