i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
