Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
