Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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