so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
