I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize