this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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