No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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