yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im holly from the hills drunk
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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