I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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