Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize