Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
