I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
