we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
