Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
