You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
