I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
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he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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