yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
