called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
