I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize