In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
How's work?
Spinning.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
