what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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