She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
