i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
