ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
